(For Sarah, my Scottish housekeeper).
A man is cupping his hand to scoop water from a Highland burn.
A Gamekeeper shouts:'Dinnae drink tha waater! Et's foo ae coo's sheet an pish!'
The man replies,'My Good fellow, I'm from England . Could you repeat that in English for me'?
The keeper replies:'I said, use two hands - you spill less that way !!!
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Please keep it clean and reasonably civil. "Public figures" are fair game, consistent with the "actual malice" exception. I suggest you Google both terms before you go off half-cocked.