Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work."
The boss says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that."
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. 'I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."
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Please keep it clean and reasonably civil. "Public figures" are fair game, consistent with the "actual malice" exception. I suggest you Google both terms before you go off half-cocked.