Camden Commentary

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Sleazy "Help the vets?" scam in front of Walmart.

I had to drop into Walmart about 30 minutes ago for a few items. At both doors were two men, each about 50 - one white, one black - running a "Help the vets?" scam. How do I know? Walmart is constantly allowing scam artists - who travel around the country in crews in large vans - to beg at their front doors. NEVER does Walmart appear to check these people out. These two pieces of human garbage each had a little TV dinner type stand; a folding chair; a semi-lunate, cheap piece of red, white and blue dime store, paper bunting on the table, an old institutional pickle jar for donations; and a bogus placard taped to the jar claiming that they represent some noble cause for veterans. Pure, 100%, unadulterated fraud! The white guy looks like he just stepped off of a used car lot. Long, slicked back, greasy looking silver-gray hair. Appears perfectly healthy - or as healthy as old, dissolute, smoking, boozers his age usually look. Now get this: they are both playing dress-up GI. They are wearing some cheap, unauthentic, desert cammie knockoffs from either a catalogue or a very cheesy Army-Navy store. What is hysterical is that the cammie pants are not only brand new, but they've never been worn or washed before. You can still see all of the original folds where they just took them out of the plastic bags and donned them this weekend. On top of that, they are both wearing brand new, gingerbread brown tee-shirts that are clearly cheap, off-color imitations of the real thing. But the piece de resistance has to be the cammie hat that the black guy is wearing. It is made of the same bogus matrerial as the pants. But here's the funny part: it bears no resemblance to any soft cover ever worn by any U.S. armed forces. It's a damned children's beannie, a la "The Beaver." I know that many of our St. Marys cops are veterans. I wish one or two would swoop down on those varmits and charge 'em with bunko.

Oh, yeah. They've also bought some really cheap black work boots they're trying to pass off as combat boots. Desert combat boots are not black, dumbasses!

Car pooling? FYI.

I just got my online policy documents for my auto insurance renewal from GEICO. Not that it applies to me, but I found this interesting language in their page of policy changes. "Coverage is excluded for bodily injury sustained by the occupant of an owned auto used to carry persons or property for compensation or a fee. However, a vehicle used in an ordinary car pool or ride sharing or cost sharing basis is covered." My guess is that such language is common in auto policies, but if you are car pooling, it might not be a bad idea to make sure your policy has such language making an exception from exclusion for car pooling / ride sharing.

Excuse me, but what color IS a watermelon seed?

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,414042,00.html

Savannah's historic terra cotta lion fountain shattered in bizarre auto accident.

http://savannahnow.com/node/563672

Sunday Funnies; Volume 27

The Lie Clock A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, 'What are all those clocks?' St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.' 'Oh,' said the man, 'whose clock is that?' 'That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.' 'Incredible,' said the man'. And whose clock is that one?' St. Peter responded, 'That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.' 'Where's Barack Obama's clock?' asked the man. 'Obama's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Talk about your customer service!

Just a little while ago, I was sitting here at my keyboard getting some on-line home owner's insurance quotes. The very first company I queried was Liberty Mutual. I dutifully filled in all of the requested info on like three or four pages. I got a quote and printed it. Not five minutes later, a guy with a heavy Hispanic accent (whom I'm sure was calculatingly assigned to call Senor Moreno) called me on the phone. It seems that as luck would have it, if I had the time, they just happened to have a licensed agent on hand who could speak to me about a policy. I told the guy that they have not yet poured my foundation; that my anticipated closing was not until December 1st. No matter: they would be happy to talk to me now. I figured, what to hell, I could go on typing while talking to the guy the first guy was going to transfer me to. So, I'm sitting there typing in another request for a quote while I'm holding for the transfer. A few minutes later, the first guy comes back on and tells me that the second guy is with another customer, but is most anxious to talk with me, if I just have the time to hold another couple of minutes. Still typing away, I agreed. Five minutes later, the second guy, also with a Hispanic name and heavy accent, comes on the line. After all of the usual disingenuous pseudo-pleasantries of such a call, he cheerily informs me that he sees on his computer that I live in a coastal area in which his company no longer writes homeowner policies. Now that's service!