Thursday, December 30, 2010

New Years wishes from the JDA.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

FBI investigating Nassau County, Florida's Sheriff Seagraves and agency.

An interesting application of civil liability law.

Death from above.

Yesterday afternoon, about 4:15, I was on the home stretch of Cojack's daily walk.

As we approached a large field - i.e., about 5 or 6 available lots all in a row - I saw two splotches of white on the well-mowed field. My first thought was that old Jack had run over some paper with the mower. Then I thought, no, that's not like Jack. He always picks up the trash before he mows.

When we came up to the piles, it became obvious that it was two piles of white bird feathers. The piles, about ten feet apart, consisted of both wing feathers and body feathers. From the black tips on the wing feathers and the fact that I had seen white ibis in the neighborhood earlier, I knew immediately what it was.

The question was how had it met its demise. Clearly, it had happened only minutes earlier because the wind had not yet dispersed the lighter feathers. My first thought was a feline predator. As we traveled on towards home, I thought, no, that's not likely because there was absolutely no cover within 50 yards of where the kill took place.

About 50 feet on up the road from the feather piles, I caught the killer out of the corner of my eye. About ten feet from the edge of the woods, there sat a Cooper's Hawk. He was holding down the de-feathered carcass with his talons and tearing off strips of flesh with his beak.

Long-time readers may recall my recounting looking out my kitchen window one day and catching a life-and death aerial battle between a piliated woodpecker and a pursuing Cooper's hawk. That time, the intended prey escaped by zig-zagging between thickly planted pine saplings like a pin ball.

Yesterday's winner might well be that same Cooper's hawk. I've seen him around ever since.  All of this essentially clear-cut space surrounded by woods makes a perfect hunting area. I doubt the unwary white ibis knew what hit him.

Monday, December 27, 2010

The map of Camden County comings and goings.

When the map comes up, click on "Clear Lines" then move your cursor to Camden County and left click. You can do that for any county in any state.

Want to see something interesting? Go to the bottom left- hand corner and click on "Detroit." Damn!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Sunday Funnies; Volume 147.

BOY: May I hold your hand?

GIRL: No thanks, it isn’t heavy.

GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!

BOY: You love me…

GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring?

BOY: Sure, what’s your phone number?

GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.

BOY: Don’t you ever want to improve?

MAN: You remind me of the sea.

WOMAN: Because I’m wild, romantic and exciting?

MAN: NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.

HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I’m pretty. Andy says I’m ugly.What do you think, Peter?

PETER : A bit of both. I think you’re pretty ugly.

Girlfriend : “….And are you sure you love me and no one else?”

Boyfriend : “Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday”.

Teacher : “Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?”

Pupil : “The moon”.

Teacher : “Why?”

Pupil : “The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don’t need it”.

Teacher : “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?”

Pupil : “A teacher”.

Waiter : “Would you like your coffee black?”

Customer : “What other colours do you have ?”

Teacher : “Sam, you talk a lot!”

Sam : “It’s a family tradition”.

Teacher : “What do you mean?”

Sam : “Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher.”

Teacher : “What about your mother?”

Sam : “She’s a woman”..

Tom : “How should I convey the news to my father that I’ve failed?”

David: “You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year’s performance repeated”.

Teacher : “Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?”

Student : “Brotherly love”.

Teacher : “Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?”

Sam : “No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook”.

Patient : “What are the chances of my recovering doctor?”

Doctor : “One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I’ve treated. The others all died”.

Teacher : ” Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?”

One Student : “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time.”

Teacher : ” George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.

Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him ?”

One Student: ” Because George still had the axe in is hand.”

A preview of what we should expect / demand from the coming Camden campus of Altamaha Technical College.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

A spate of new Georgia laws about to go into effect.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas and a Happy, Healthy, and Prosperous New Year to all men of good will from
Jay and Cojack.

Others - not so much.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Another episode of "Downtown Dogs-In-the-Manger."

As you all know, the soon to be resigned Director of the St.Marys Downtown Development Authority has mostly engaged in efforts to bring more business to existing downtown businesses as opposed to bringing in new businesses.

One such effort is the Saturday Farmers Market (or whatever they call it - I've never been). As I recall, it started out in the T&G parking lot and has since moved to right in front of the old pavilion just across the street from the Riverview Hotel with Seagles Bar and whatever the restaurant is called this week.

Now, it turns out that one of the vendors at the Saturday market runs a hot dog stand. Said vendor pays a fee of $20.00 per month to do so.

Gaila Brandon, co-owner of The Riverview, has complained bitterly that the hot dog stand is competing with her restaurant business ( having recently eaten at her place, I can well understand her concern over being outclassed by a good hot dog.)

Now, can you just imagine how bitterly opposed to the development of the boathouse property the ungrateful dogs-in-the-manger of the Downtown Merchants' Association are?

On another related matter, I found this site interesting:

Check out his paragraph:

"Economic Restructuring involves improving the competitiveness of Main Street’s traditional merchants, creatively converting vacant space to new uses, and recruiting new complementary business."

Why is it the obligation of the other 99% of us to fund with our tax dollars an authority with the mission of "improving the competitiveness of Main Street's traditional merchants?"

Are entrepreneurs not expected to take responsibility for their own competitiveness? And what the hell is a "traditional merchant." It sounds like another term for the downtown "we were here first - you owe us" crowd of "dogs-in-the-manger."

And then there is "recruitng new, complementary businesses." Translation, the dogs want to make damned sure that no business which would compete directly with them and perhaps provide the other 99% of us with better products or services at more competitive prices is recruited. In fact, we all know that the dogs will call in political chits to block any such "damned outsiders" from opening a business downtown.

Update: 12/22/10 @3:00PM

I just got off of the phone with my good friend, Katie Bishop, our county clerk and daughter of Gaila Brandon.

Katie was telling me how badly Gaila's feelings had been hurt when she read the above post, re: the hot dog stand.

I am now given to understand that Gaila buys all of her vegetables at the Saturday market, loves the hot dogs, has never complained about them, and has never been a memeber of the Downtown Merchants' Association.

Speculation is that my source was confused and thinking about the time Gaila and the former owner of the Silver Star Steak House complained bitterly about a guy selling barbecue (which neither The Riverview nor the steak house sold) because the intent of the market was only to draw people down town to spend money with the "regular merchants." Apparently, they did succeed in getting Alyce to run the bar be cue guy off, but I'm now led to believe there is no resentment whatsoever of the hot dog vendor.

Moreover, I'm now assured that other than being their bar hosts, Gaila and Jerry have nothing what soever to do with the insurgent anarchist activities of Bob Nutter and the Nutter Buddies.

Insofar as my friend Katie has always been most helpful and Gaila most cordial, I am glad to publish this clarification. 

Methinks Councilman Trader has a valid point.

From: Chuck Trader

Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2010 13:56:57 -0500

To: ;

Subject: Biased and negative poll posted by The Tribune and Georgian

RE: Biased and negative poll presented by the Tribune & Georgia (SEE BELOW)


As many of you know, the negative approach that seems to be regularly taken by our local press can be a cancer to our community (St. Marys and Camden County as a whole). I believe much of the reporting and negative connotation is something that needs more facts and balance. Whether you believe the St. Marys City Council is doing a good job or poor job in light of the difficult times and difficult decisions, it should be an individual and personal opinion. It should not be impacted by the negative approach of reporting and selling newspapers.

My approach in sending this e-mail is not intended to change your opinion but rather to point out the biased online poll that the Tribune and Georgian has posted on their website. This poll regarding the recent grand jury presentation by 3 citizens and their attorney has led to choices that only have negative connotations. My frustration is that there is no question or option in the ONLINE POLL that provides for any citizen to provide a positive response that is supportive of the City Council. I know there are many that believe the City Council is doing the best job they can and a good job in fulfilling their responsibilities with actions and efforts that are in the best LONG TERM interests of the citizens of the city. I also know there are those out there that disagree with some of the decisions and I respect their opinions.

Whether you live in St. Marys or Camden County (It affects us all) I would ask that you consider contacting Jill Helton at the Tribune and Georgian and request that their reporting be factual and fair and without a biased approach. This biased approach in this poll is not fair to the citizens of this community and will only lead to reporting of results that have negative connotations. I want to know the public’s opinion but much of the news is generated from a small organized group of citizens that choose to find fault as opposed to work together for a better cause.

Thank you for allowing me to share in my frustration as I attempt to work toward a fair and balanced approach based on facts as opposed to bias. Unless we work together to contact Jill and make a formal request for balance, we will continue to allow for actions that negatively impact our community. Her e-mail is and she can be reached at 912-882-4927.

I appreciate your kind consideration and wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Chuck Trader


Do you think that the St. Marys residents' presentation to the Camden grand jury will effect any change in the city?

( )Yes, I think the city council will finally realize that they need to get their act together.

( )Yes, I think the grand jury will make a ruling that will force the city to re-examine the way it does business.

( )No, I don't think things will change at the city until elections next year.

[Vote] View Results

Update at 10:18, 12/21:

Well now! Very interesting. This morning, the T&G has blinked.

They have added a 2 new choices (the last 2.) .

Compare the way the poll reads now to the way Chuck accurately listed the original version in his e-mail above.


Do you think that the St. Marys residents' presentation to the Camden grand jury will effect any change in the city?

Yes, I think the city council will finally realize that they need to get their act together.

Yes, I think the grand jury will make a ruling that will force the city to re-examine the way it does business.

No, I don't think things will change at the city until elections next year.

I think the presentation is not valid

I think the city council already does a great job

View Results

Thanks, T&G. Now, why don't you run the poll again tomorrow to give equal time to those who are satisfied with the current mayor and council?

To cast your vote on the T&G poll, click here:

Monday, December 20, 2010

The TRUTH about the county bonuses.

Here is an exact copy of an e-mail exchange between me , County Administrator, Steve Howard, and County Finance Director, Mike Fender, regarding this month's year-end bonuses for county employees.

Thanks, guys. Only the most unreasonable people would have a problem with that given they’ve forgone even a simple COLA for years.


From: Mike Fender []

Sent: Monday, December 20, 2010 11:36 AM

To: Jay Moreno

Cc: Steve Howard

Subject: RE: Bonuses?

The "bonus" was really an extension of salary adjustment. By giving a smaller salary adjustment (2%) instead of say 2.5%, it will help future budget line items. The "bonus" was given to all employees including constitutional officers since they are considered department heads. No bonus or salary adjustment was given to the Commissioners. The bonus parameters were as follows :

All full time employees that were with the County prior to January 15, 2010 received $400.

Full time employees that were hired after January 15, 2010 were prorated by the number of full month equivalents worked through December 31, 2010….hired until the 15th of the month receive credit for the month, hired after the 15th of the month no credit received.

Part time employees received a max of $200 based on the number of hours worked over the last year ……normal part time employee in the court would make 1040 hours per year working part time (8-5 , M-F for full time would be 2080), if they worked 780 hours last year, their share would be 75% of the $200.

If you are interested in the exact amounts or someone specific, I will be glad to share that info with you. This is not a annual policy or an annual event. It was simply a way to give a salary adjustment to the employees that haven't had one in several years. Please call or email me with any additional questions.



From: Steve Howard

Sent: Monday, December 20, 2010 10:49 AM

To: Jay Moreno; Mike Fender

Subject: RE: Bonuses?

Importance: High

I will have Mike provide you all the details.

The Commissioners did not receive anything.





From: Jay Moreno []

Sent: Monday, December 20, 2010 10:34 AM

To: Steve Howard

Subject: Bonuses?


Congrats on the long overdue 2% across-the-board pay raises.

I’ve had several phone calls and e-mails about an end-of-the-year bonus for all hands that was not announced in the T&G.

Can you tell me if there was; who got it (especially commissioners); and how much?

Is this a new policy or a resumption of an old one?



Georgia has a very broad Public Records Law. Virtually all written communications to or from State and Local Officials and employees are public records available to the public and media upon request. Camden County policy does not differentiate between personal and business emails. E-mail sent on the County system will be considered public and will only be withheld from disclosure if deemed confidential pursuant to State Law. If you have received this email in error please notify the Camden County, Georgia IT Division at 912-510-4379.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

A hearty sandwich for a cold winter's day.

First, you'll need a roll of

Next, a loaf of a good, sliced pumpernickel bread. Arnold's is good.

Also some good real mayo, like Hellman's, a jar of bread-and-butter pickles, and a red onion (or white, if you prefer.)

Apply light coating of mayo to both slices of pumpernickel (not toasted).

Add pickles sufficient to cover one slice of the bread.

Follow that with a couple of slices of raw onion.

Add 1/4 inch thick slices of Braunschweiger sufficient to cover bread, top, cut, and enjoy.

I had mine this afternoon with hot Earl Grey tea, but it is also quite good with a cold beer.

Chatham County jail: chock-full-o'-vermin.

Sunday Funnies; Volume 146.

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's party. He is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

He forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!!

He sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all cleaned and pressed! He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: 'Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian'

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.

His 16 year old son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, 'Son.what happened last night?'

'Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind you fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.'

Confused, he asked his son, 'So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??'

His son replies, 'Oh THAT... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone, I'm married!!'

Broken Coffee Table $239.99

Hot Breakfast $4.20

Two Aspirins $.38

Saying the Right thing, at the Right time:


Nutter-Buddies, this is what real corruption looks like.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Sunday Funnies; Volume 145.


No matter what side of the AISLE you're on, THIS is FUNNY and VERY telling! It just all depends on how you look at same things.

Judy Rudd, an amateur genealogy researcher in Queensland ’s Southern Cross University, was doing some personal work on her own family tree. She discovered that ex Prime Minister Kevin Rudd great-great uncle, Remus Rudd, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Melbourne in 1889. Both Judy and Kevin Rudd share this common ancestor.

The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows at the Melbourne Gaol:

On the back of the picture Judy obtained during her research is this inscription:

'Remus Rudd horse thief, sent to Melbourne Gaol 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Melbourne-Geelong train six times. Caught by Victoria Police Force, convicted and hanged in 1889.'

So Judy recently e-mailed ex Prime Minister Rudd for information about their great-great uncle, Remus Rudd...

Believe it or not, Kevin Rudd's staff sent back the following biographical sketch for her genealogy research:

"Remus Rudd was famous in Victoria during the mid to late 1800s . His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Melbourne-Geelong Railroad.

Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to government service, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad.

In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the Victoria Police Force. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honour when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed."

NOW That’s how it's done, folks - that's real POLITICAL SPIN!!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Flash: Gordon gone!

This just in.

I am told by a reliable source that Gordon Jackson is no longer with the Times Union. Apparently, his last day was last Friday. He reportedly fell victim to a sizable staff reduction at the T.U.

It should be interesting to see what effect his no longer being "useful" has upon his, uh, social life.

Surprisingly, I'm told that the T.U. does not plan to maintain a reporter in Camden any longer.

Not sure whose orbit news in Camden will fall under now. Brunswick, I suppose.

More as I learn it.

Update: I just checked the GTU website. The last thing published with Gordon's by-line was published at 12:00 AM on Friday, Dec. 5th. He no doubt wrote it on Thursday. My guess is that he was completely blindsided on Friday. Happy Holidays from you old friends at the T.U.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Can I interest you in what may well be the best tasting, most satisfying soup you'll ever put into your mouth?

You will recall that not too long ago I alerted you to Progresso's delicious, new, "3-Bean Chili Soup," available at Walmart and other stores, I'm sure.

I decided to have a can of that for lunch today. As I was reaching into the pantry, that's when it hit me.

I always keep a thawed container of my famous Jay's Killer Black Bean Chili in the refrigerator.
It's very handy for making omelets, chili dogs, etc.

I had about a cup of the thawed chili left (with backup containers in the freezer, of course.) I added that cup of my 2 bean chili to the can of Progresso.

Truly, a marriage made in culinary heaven. Now it became a 5 bean chili soup: my chili beans and black beans and Progresso's kidney, northern, and pinto beans. Added to their green chiles were my jalapenos. Then there was their sweet red peppers and corn. Of course, my chili mix flavor completely supplanted theirs.

Between my beef and theirs, it was plenty meaty.

Let me tell you, this mixture with some fresh corn muffins is all you'll need to fortify yourself against the coldest day. It would be great to have a Thermos full for fishing or hunting.

Try it - you'll absolutely love it! I guarantee!

Sunday Funnies; Volume 144.

It all began with an iPhone...

July last year was when my son celebrated his birthday, and I got him an iPhone.
He just loved it. Who wouldn't?

I celebrated my birthday in April , and my wife made me very happy when
she bought me an iPad.

My daughter's birthday was in February so I got her an iPod Touch.

October this year came by so for her birthday I got my wife an iRon.
It was around then that the fight started......

What the wife failed to recognise is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean.

This inevitably activates the iNag reminder service........

Saturday, December 4, 2010

A tasty new product line at Walmart.

Click on image to enlarge, then click again.

Every once-in-a-while, diabetes-be-damned, I'll have a cookie or two. Actually, I have them in lieu of a meal and no more than 40 to 50 grams of carbohydrate worth.

At any rate, Walmart has come out with a new lnie of cookies they call "World Table." They are located up high on the end of the cookie aisle nearest the center of the store.

The idea is that they have taken some of the best cookie recipes from countries all around the world.

The only one I've tried so far is a "Taste of Scotland" called Caramel Pecan Shortbread Squares. They are absolutely delicious, absolutely on an equal par with Pepperidge Farm quality, and a lot cheaper - about $2.50 for a 6 oz box.

Try 'em you'll like 'em.

U.S. reveals launch, 7 month orbit, and safe return of previously secret, unmanned, space plane!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

The human assessment of the chances of life on other planets just went way up with a discovery on Earth!

A constructive review of Miss Hattie's Cow Patty restaurant.

Folks, we have a new restaurant in Kingsland. It's called Miss Hattie's Cow Patty.

It's located at 105 N. Lee Street (the Kingslander's name for Hwy 17.) If you are coming from east of Hwy 17 on Hwy 40 (i.e., from St. Marys) take a right onto Hwy 17 (okay, "Lee Street.") After you turn right, the first building on your right is the used appliance store. The restaurant is in the first door of that next building, right next to the cheesy quickie marriage joint. If you can't find parking on the curb, just do what I did - go down to the parking lot for the EMA building (the old post office) unless, of course, a hurricane is coming.

As you will see below, they have a very interesting menu that I look forward to working my way through, IF they work out a few start-up bugs. I would note, however, that between my two grandmothers and one great-grandmother, other than the pies, puddings and cobblers, they never ever served up anything remotely like the other interesting stuff on this menu. I'd love to know where these folks grew up.

When you walk in the door, you are warmly greeted by at least one, if not several, staff members. The place looks immaculately clean with pleasing decor and ambiance. Contrary to the canard on Topix, there was no unpleasant odor whatsoever, much less that "odor that you get when you cook with gas (and yes, I would know it if I smelled it - both of my grandmothers cooked with gas (great grandma used a wood burning cast-iron cook stove until the day she died in her 90s!)

My friendly waitress was prompt to hand me a menu and take my drink order - unsweetened iced tea.

The tea, served in a Mason jar, was a huge disappointment. It was extremely weak. Later, what turned out to be the middle-aged woman who had made the tea stopped by my table and asked how everything was. I believe that the worst thing you can do is lie to people trying to make a go of a new restaurant. I politely told her that the tea was much, much too weak and that "Down south, we like it strong." I told her that the solution was very simple: instead of putting just one of those premeasured bags of tea into the tea maker, put two. Works like a charm. She said she would. Caution: when you go, take a look at some one's tea before you order. If that has not been corrected, try a milkshake or water - and tell them why you did not order the tea.

I ordered the "Miss Hattie Moo" (see menu.) Note: It came out with a least a quarter of a cup of those always nasty, cheap, dill pickle chips. I removed those immediately. No, it does not say on the menu that it comes with pickles, but look up above that where it says "All burgers topped with lettuce, sliced tomato, onion, and Dill Pickle Chips..". You guessed it: ALL of that plus what was listed for the Miss Hattie Moo, specifically, came on one burger. The raw tomato completely overpowered the fried tomato taste which I was looking forward to. The caramelized onion flavor was also lost amongst the sea of competing flavors. The roasted garlic cream cheese was good, though I wish it had not been refrigerator-cold. Room temp would have been better.

Now, let's talk about the meat. I phoned them up after I got home to make sure I had the right patty weights for the three different burger sizes. You can see in my handwriting that they are ostensibly 6 oz., 4 oz., and 3 oz.

I ordered the $6.95 Big Moo-sized patty which is ostensibly 4 ounces or a quarter-of-a-pound. I've cooked a many a quarter-pound burger patty. Trust me, the pre -cooked weight on this hand-made (i.e., in store) patty was not a quarter of a pound. It was about twice the thickness of the meat on a Krystal burger and about twice as broad. Incredibly, in spite of it being so thin, whoever cooked it managed to send it out raw in the middle, a fact which I did not discover until I was about to eat the last bite.

Suggestion: Go with one, high quality, 80/20,  frozen, 1/3- pound burger patty. Take them straight from the freezer and onto the grill. They are every bit as good as fresh and I will not have to worry about how thoroughly you washed your hands before hand-making the patties and I will know for a certainty that the pre-cooked weight I'm paying for is what I'm actually getting.

The hamburger bun was quite different than any I've ever had and quite good. That's a keeper.

Now, the menu says that their skin-on fries are fresh sliced , real potato French fries. If that's true, more the pity because it is really hard to screw up fresh fries but they did.

As a former fast food manager, I can just about assure you that those were frozen potatoes (albeit cut from whole potatoes as claimed) and tell you what went wrong.  The fries came out limp and soggy and  room temperature. That will invariably happen to some degree when you let frozen potatoes thaw before you cook them. The ONLY way to make frozen fries that rival fresh is to literally reach into the bag of fries while it is still in the freezer and hard frozen, pull out just enough for an order or a basket full, and then immediately immerse them, still hard frozen, into the hot grease. Grease temperature is critical. The ideal temp for French fries is 360 degrees F. My guess is their grease was not quite hot enough for one of three reasons: A, they had the thermostat on the Fryolator set too low and it never reached 360 degrees, or, B, they were putting in too many fries at one time and causing a precipitous drop below the critical 360 degree temperature of the grease, or C, they forgot to turn the Fryolator on the minute they walked in the door this
morning and it did not have time to reach steady state operating temperature.

I also asked for a small sample of their chili. It was, as I suspected, a mediocre version of what I call red neck chili. No self-respecting Hispanic cook would claim it. Along with a copy of this critique, I am mailing the owners a copy of my chili recipe I hope they will take advantage of this chance to become famous for the best, authentic chili in the county.

In conclusion, I wish them well. I'll give 'em a couple of months to get it together then go back and try out some of their other very interesting dishes.

To enlarge menu, click on each page once, wait a second, then click on it again.

Note: An exact copy of this review went in the mail to the owners of Miss Hattie's on 12/3/10, along with a signed note wishing them success.

Monday, November 29, 2010

CVB's chairperson, B. "Delta Dawn" Ryan, keeps it in the family.

At the October 25th St. Marys City Council meeting, CVB chair B. "Delta Dawn" Ryan, resplendent in a period chapeau (Neolithic, I think), gave the CVB report to the mayor and council.

The report was given in the form of a PowerPoint presentation, narrated by Delta. She brought a fellow with her to run the projector.

Now, fast forward to this past Tuesday's CVB meeting, chaired by none other than DD. In that meeting, DD informed the board that the fellow who put the PowerPoint presentation together and ran the projector was none other than her very own son.

You're gonna love this! She then informed her board that she had paid her son $500.00 for his work on the PowerPoint ( a task that one can hardly take a college course without having to do nowadays - I had two this semester) and requested that the board vote to reimburse her.

Surprise, surprise! They voted to do just that and the check has been cut! Did Delta Dawn turn it over to the vice chair and recuse herself from the vote? No and no. She voted in favor of reimbursing herself!
Apparently, Keith Post was absent.

But wait - it gets better! Y'all know they are moving into the space vacated by that kayak sales and adventure outfit that was right next to Seagles, right? Well, it turns out that DD and the CVB board  have commissioned Delta's very same multi-talented son to paint a mural on that building. No word yet upon the price to be paid - again from the bed tax - but I'll get that eventually.

Perhaps Cecil B. DeVaught can direct a documentary of the actual painting of the mural.

Needless to say Tom Cyphers, municipal candidate-to-be-, will deliver the Historic Preservation stamp-of-approval for the heroic mural.

I'm sure that other "Camden Commentary" has just been too damned busy going on Topix and praising themselves to bring you this but I'm sure they would have eventually. ;-)

Army fields revolutionary new 25mm rifle!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Happy birthday, dirtbag!


Birth Date: 11/28/1993

Race: B Sex: M

Arrest Date: 11/28/2010 at 0500

Arrest #:


Bond: $.00


16-8-41 - ARMED ROBBERY - F



Taken from today's Chatham County (Savannah) arrest report.

Sunday Funnies; Volume 143

This letter was sent to the LionsBay School Principal's office in West Geelong after the school had sponsored a luncheon for seniors. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door raffle prize and was writing to say thank you.

This story is a credit to all humankind. Forward this to anyone you know who might need a lift today.

Dear Lions Bay School , God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent Senior Citizens luncheon. I am 87 years old and live at the West Geelong Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away so I am all alone. I want to thank you for the kindness you have shown to a forgotten old lady. My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio; but, she would never let me listen to it. She said it belonged to her long dead husband, and understandably, wanted to keep it safe. The other day her radio fell off the nightstand and broke into a dozen pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I was overjoyed that I could tell her to bugger off. Thank you for that wonderful opportunity. God bless you all. Sincerely,


Thursday, November 25, 2010

Thanksgiving shows no sign of the touted Obama economic recovery in Camden County.

Last year, on Thanksgiving day, Aunt B's rang up 805 meals. That does not count the many children under 4 who ate for free. The line was out the door from opening 'til closing.

This year, I got there at 12:30. Not only was there no line out the door but when I opened the door there was not a soul between me and the register. When I got past the register, I saw the front dining area about 2/3 full. Very few groups had more than four people - mostly older couples. Large families with lots of kids were conspicuously few.

Curious, when I left about 1:20 (no, I was not eating all that time: I talked with Cathy Gentry at some length about the economy) I was very curious to see how other restaurants were faring.

At 1:25, Shoney's had about 12 cars in their lot, including their employees' cars.

At about 1:27, Cracker Barrel was full, as usual. Probably not diagnostic for the local economy.

At 1:30, the lot behind the building at Steffen's was chock-full of employee cars. However, in the customer parking lot out front, there was literally not one single, solitary, car. As I made a u-turn through the lot, nearly the entire staff swirled around on their counter stools hoping I was a live one  - and those poor devils were scheduled to stay open until 4:00!

At 1:45, there were precisely 12 cars in the parking lot of The Borrell Creek Landing - including their employees' cars.

Local grocery stores must have done a lot better this year than last.

Update: I just had guests leave a few minutes ago after bringing me a plate of homemade Thanksgiving food and staying for a nice conversation.

In the course of the conversation, I learned that two large churches in St. Marys hosted free thanksgiving dinners in St. Marys today. A huge number of  Methodists and Baptists who might otherwise have eaten in our restaurants ate for free at their churches today.

That's all well and good but, pastors, perhaps it would be a good idea to phone the above listed restaurateurs next year a good month in advance and let them know of your plans and how many you fed this year so that they might adjust their prepared food volumes and staffing accordingly.  I'm sure they would deeply appreciate it.

In defence of cowardice.

"In a quest to better explain our reason for anonymity, one of our new friends authored the following:

While we understand that there may be some curiosity as to the members of the group who initiated and are maintaining this site, we feel that, given the contentious and potentially punitive nature of the current atmosphere in St. Marys, it is best that we remain anonymous for the time being. This, alone, is further indication of the political dysfunction of our community – that concerned citizens must consider the ramifications of speaking out. We trust that you will respect our decision."

This statement comes from

Clearly, the insurgent cowards' activities cannot survive the light of day.

Given that the cowards will not step forward, let me state the obvious.

Clearly, the prime suspects are: Alex Kearns & Bob Nutter. Contributors will be the usual anarchistic crazies we've all observed showing their asses in city council meetings and on Topix since the last St. Marys municipal election in preparation for their candidacies in the next one.

Happy Thanksgiving to all decent Americans of good will.

An interesting development in the pot growing case.

The day after the indictments were returned, K-Bay news on-line announced that two of the indicted were in custody in "Taylor County." I assumed that was in Georgia. There is a Taylor County, GA - county seat: Butler.

However, this morning, K-Bay announced that those two had been extradited to Camden County from Taylor County, Florida. So what, you say?

Well, Steinhatchee, FL is in Taylor County. You may recall that I earlier identified the property that Stan Smith owns in Steinhatchee. Apparently, his operation crossed state lines. That means it is all fair game for the Feds after the state is done with it.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Your Thanksgiving dinner options this year:

Okay, Aunt B's, always your best bet, will be open Thanksgiving day from 10:30 to 3:00.


There will be no discounts of any kind.

The reasonable, AYCE holiday prices will be:

Ages 11 and up:$14.99 ($16.04 with tax).

Ages 4 to 10:$5.99 ($6.41 with tax).

Ages 3 and under eat free.

My suggestions: PLEASE take the time to get to the bank and get cash before close of business Wednesday. The line will move a lot faster if the cashier is not tied up processing credit cards. Using nothing larger than a $20.00 would also help. They do not accept checks. Calculating your exact total bill and having exact change ready would be sublime!

Oh, and could you carry on the protracted post-meal chit chat out in the parking lot or back at grandma's house. Folks will be backed up out the door with hungry kids and needing your table.

Oh, and one last thing no, two. Please don't light up right outside the restaurant as you're leaving or standing in line, for that matter. Finally, please don't slather on a gallon of Eau du F. W. Woolworth. I like to be able to smell my food, not your cheap cologne. No, there's one last thing: PLEASE keep the front door closed. The AC cannot keep up if you hold the front door open. Technique: When you get to the door, do not open it until you can clearly see that there is enough room at the end of the line inside the door to open it, get your entire party inside at one time, then close the door behind you. Simple, really.

Please don't forget to tip your waitress generously. 15% would come to $2.40 on an adult meal. Be a sport - go for at least $3.00 per adult meal.

How about at least $1.00 for each kid. The "free" kids can be a real mess to clean up after.

Other Thanksgiving options:

Borrell Creek:

11:30 'til 2:30.

"Plated ham and turkey with dressing and a dessert."

Adult $15.99 Child $7.99

The Mill:

Noon to 5:00

"Complete turkey dinner."

Adult $8.49 Child $3.99

(Info extracted from ads in Friday's T&G. )

As you were! I just phoned The Mill at 5:30 PM on Tuesday, 11/23. After a lot of rings, you get a recording in which a young woman apologizes for the fact that they have closed again and suggests that "for information about the store", you call Linda Cagle at such 'n such a number. Apparently, they've already re-opened and closed in about a week or less!


Open from 6:00 to 4:00 (not sure when they will start serving Thanksgiving dinner.)

"Complete turkey dinner."

Adult $8.49 Child $3.99

Note: Both The Mill and Steffens are owned by Linda Cagle. My guess is that everything will be cooked at Steffens then some of it will be transported over to The Mill.

Cracker Barrel

A Homestyle Thanksgiving Meal

Enjoy our turkey breast with made-from-scratch cornbread dressing and topped with turkey gravy. Served with a sampling of baked sugar-cured ham, sweet potato casserole with caramel pecan topping, cranberry relish, your choice of a vegetable and fresh biscuits or corn muffins, plus a slice of our very own Pumpkin Pecan Streusel Pie with real whipped cream, and a beverage (excluding milkshakes).

$8.99 Adult • $4.49 Child

Served Thursday, November 25th
11a.m. to close.

(From Cracker Barrel website.)


Just got my weekly edition of the Camden Shopper. On page 8, there is an announcement of a free dinner for needy families from 11:30 to 1:00 PM on Thanksgiving Day.

The location is: New Wave of Glory Christian Center

950 S. Lee Street, Kingsland, GA

The sponsors are asking for donations of turkeys and canned and perishable food items.

Call 576-1944 or 882-8214 and ask for Linda.

Please pass this on to any needy families you might know.

Cracks in the Green wall: Gore fesses up on corn-based ethanol support.

Sore-loser, anonymous, insurgent cowards start an anti-St.Marys city government blog called "Camden Commentary."

As you can see, my comment on their blog is "awaiting moderation."

"Jay Moreno says:

Your comment is awaiting moderation.

November 23, 2010 at 3:31 pm

If you people’s grievances are so legitimate and your cause so noble, why are all of you hiding in cowardly anonymity?"

Man, their clock is way off.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Sunday Funnies; Volume 142.


My daughter and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.

She said, 'you gave me too much money.'

I said,'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar coin back.'

She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.

I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but
they could not do that kind of thing.'

The clerk then proceeded to give me
back 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at MacD's.


We had to have the garage door repaired.

The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the

I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.'

I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'

We haven't used that repairman since. Happened in Ipswich, Qld. (That's Queensland, Australia - Jay).


I live in a semi rural area.

We recently had a new neighbour call the local council P & W office to request the removal of the WOMBAT CROSSINGsign on our road.

The reason: 'Too many wombats are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

Story from Collingwood, Melbourne.


My daughter went to a Mexican takeaway and ordered a taco.

She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but
they only had iceberg lettuce.

From Bankstown, Sydney.


I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'

To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'

He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

This happened in Elizabeth S.A.


The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.

I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She
asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind
people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She is a government employee in Adelaide P.O.


When my husband and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our
car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers
side door.

As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that
it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'

His reply, 'I know. I already got that side..'


They walk among us...

Doing the right thing.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

The same lunatic fringe that constitutes the leadership of the sore-loser insurgency that constantly attacks all of the mayor and council of St. Marys except their two co-conspirators, Councilman Bird and Councilman Howell, have sunk to a new low - even for them.

Update: This just in. The bastards plan on sinking even lower with billboards!

They have called for a boycott of Sheila McNeill's business, Sheila's Hallmark, because of her recent letter-to-the-editor. Moreover, they have called for a boycott of ERA Realty until such time as they fire Deborah Hase. Lastly, the vermin have called for a boycott of Aunt B's restaurant until such time as the owners ban me from eating there. They have done all of this anonymously -as craven cowards always do - on Topix, St. Marys.

I call on all decent citizens to repudiate this unconscionable and un-American political gangsterism by making a point of patronizing Sheila's Hallmark and Aunt' B's more so than you would have otherwise.
Tell the owners that is specifically why you are there.

With regards to ERA Kings Bay Realty, Camden's leading real estate brokerage, please do not fail to consider them should you have the need of a Realtor.

As you can see from the receipts, I've patronized Aunt B's way more frequently than usual since the announced boycott. I did my Christmas card shopping at Sheila's Hall Mark yesterday.

If you want to send the bastards a message, after you patronize these businesses, go here and post that you have.
Click on image to enlarge. Now click again.

Paleontologists thrilled by newly discovered, major Pleistocene fossil site in Colorado.

Kudos to CCHS faculty & staff for helping seniors land over $5 million in scholarships!

Friday, November 19, 2010

St. Marys city hall evacuated after bomb threat.

Update: The guy who told the cop at the door of the St. Marys Municipal Court that he had a bomb was Bert (Burt?) James, owner of James Jewelers in St. Marys.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Jim Stein will get a piece of the pot pie.

I wonder if he is only representing MRS. Smith and not Stan?

According to the sheriff's website, it appears that Stan has already bailed out.

K-Bay is reporting that Mr. and Mrs. Stan Smith, et al, have been indicted on 6 counts!

Today, 7 weeks after Smith's "rental property" on 4th Street was busted as a marijuana grow house, the Camden County Grand Jury has indicted Phillip Stanley Smith, Mary O. Smith, Troy Meridith, Cleveland Miller, and Thomas McKinley on the following felony counts:

2 counts of conspiracy to manufacture marijuana;

2 counts of trafficking in marijuana; and

2 counts of violation of Georgia's RICO Act.

This, of course, comes as no surprise to me.

In the not too distant future, the prosecution will notify the defendants' attorneys how much time they will be facing without co-operation. Then and only then - when all of the indicted have had a chance to testify truthfully in exchange for lighter sentences, will we know for sure whether or not county commissioner- elect Gary Blount's protestations of total innocence are actually true or not.

If it turns out that Blount is in fact totally innocent, it will be fascinating to hear the story on how that is possible. The plausible scenario in which it could be has so far evaded me and most sentient folks who know of Stan and Gary's relationship.

CCGA needs to improve graduation rates.

The solution is rather simple.

The year after the new Altamaha Technical College campus in Camden comes on line, CCGA needs to move away from being an open admissions, Pell Grant processing center to a 4 year college with higher admission standards. Admitting students with no chance of ever graduating from college is not doing them any favor. Many of those same students could thrive at Altamaha Tech.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Rabid, scurrilous, downtown dogs call for boycott of Sheila McNeill's business.

As you can see, the boycott was inspired by the recent T&G letter-to-the-editor from Jo Beth Bird, wife of lead dog, Councilman Greg Bird.

I would encourage all decent citizens of St. Marys, in particular, but really all decent Camdenians, to buy all of your holiday greeting cards from Sheila's Hall Mark this year. If you can, buy cards for next year too - they'll keep.

Don't just drop in anonymously, either. Tell Sheila or her clerk, in her absence, that you came specifically to counter the actions of the despicable, cowardly, anonymous scum calling for the boycott.

Thank you.

Anti-capitalist, Green eco weenies will not thwart deepening of Savannah River channel.

Shutting down Camden NAACP would be a good start!

Kudos to Rev. Cummings for his anti-recidivism project. I hope it will continue.

The need for the NAACP has come and gone.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Seafood at Aunt B's.

I had a particularly delicious experience at Aunt B's yesterday.

On Saturdays, they serve a homemade seafood chowder that is always great,but was just extraordinary yesterday.

It's a milk and cream-based chowder with real butter. The seafood is a generous amount of sweet, medium shrimp and that artificial crab meat made from crab-flavored fish - haddock, I think. There are chunks of white potato about the size of the distal section of your index finger, cooked just right. There is just the right touch of sweet, shoe-peg corn. I believe there might be a little finely- chopped celery in there, and some secret seasoning. It is (self) served piping hot in a large, rimmed soup bowl with a soup spoon. It is great as is, but to make it truly extraordinary, sprinkle a little black pepper on top and stir it in. Man, it is so good you will be tempted to go back for seconds and have nothing but the chowder!

Naw, you would not want to miss the succulent, lightly breaded and perfectly fried medium shrimp. The homemade cocktail sauce with horseradish is the perfect compliment. Add a big dollop of their perfect cole slaw and a few home fries and you're all set.

You can pay an awful lot more at a seafood restaurant, but you will not top the items I've listed.

Their fried, Alaskan pollock with their unsurpassed home made tartar sauce (seriously, best I've ever had ANYWHERE) is also one helluva good buy every Friday.

Aunt B's satisfies my seafood hungries completely.

See if you agree.

Oh, yeah, and on Thursdays, from 3:00 to 8:00, they serve small, whole, fried catfish that is really good.

Sunday Funnies, Volume 141.

Subject: FW: Cussing at WorkSubject: FW: Cussing at Work

Cussing at Work

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore,a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

Number 1

TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.

INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

Number 2

TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.

INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

Number 3

TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.

INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this by?

Number 4

TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.

INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

Number 5


INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

Number 6

TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...

INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

Number 7

TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.

INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.

Number 8

TRY SAYING: That's interesting.

INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

Number 9

TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.

INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

Number 10

TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.

INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?

Number 11

TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues...

INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

Number 12

TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?

INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

Number 13

TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?

INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

Number 14

TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.

INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

Number 15

TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.

INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

Number 16

TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.

INSTEAD O F: This f___ing job sucks.

Number 17

TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?

INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

Number 18

TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.

INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You,

Human Resources

An interesting interview with Christopher Hitchens.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

If you "Love that chicken from Popeye's," you'll be glad to know..

that a Popeye's is coming to the Petro truck stop in Kingsland.

Personally, I can't wait for the Longhorn Steakhouse - or any steakhouse -to get here.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Once again, 'tis the season to enjoy famous "Jay's Killer Black Bean Chili!"

Sunday Funnies; Volume 140.

What I want in a man - changes every 10 years

What I Want In a Man, Original List

1. Handsome

2. Charming

3. Financially successful

4. A caring listener

5. Witty

6. In good shape

7. Dresses with style

8. Appreciates finer things

9. Full of thoughtful surprises

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)

1. Nice looking

2. Opens car doors, holds chairs

3. Has enough money for a nice dinner

4. Listens more than talks

5. Laughs at my jokes

6. Carries bags of groceries with ease

7. Owns at least one tie

8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal

9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)

1. Not too ugly

2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car

3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally

4. Nods head when I'm talking

5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes

6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture

7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach

8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids

9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down

10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed

2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public

3. Doesn't borrow money too often

4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting

5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times

6. Is in good enough shape to get off the couch on weekends

7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear

8. Appreciates a good TV dinner

9. Remembers your name on occasion

10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)

1. Doesn't scare small children

2. Remembers where bathroom is

3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep

4. Only snores lightly when asleep

5.. Remembers why he's laughing

6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself

7. Usually wears some clothes

8. Likes soft foods

9. Remembers where he left his teeth

10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)

1. Breathing.

2. Doesn't miss the toilet.

Sheriff Gregory's brother David, sets the record straight on the D.A.R.E. viper and other issues.

See the last comment.

Speaking of comments, mine that reads...

"Well, if ever there were conclusive proof that "Tommy is not the person (I) think he is," your shocking expose' is certainly it. If only you had revealed this before the election, BTW would still be sheriff."

was definitely said in jest as a sarcastic response to the comment immediately preceding.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Good new product!

Do yourself a favor. Next time you're in the soup aisle, pick up a can of Progresso's new "Three Bean Chili Soup with Beef." Man, it is hearty and good. It's not quite as good as a very similar homemade version my Mexicana neighbor makes, but it's close. Cornbread would be the perfect complimentary dish.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Sunday Funnies; Volume 139.

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth . One of my sisters lives in Pflugerville and is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas.

I have two brothers: one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview . She is a part time "working girl".

All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her.

Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Barak Obama for


Worried About My Reputation

Friday, October 29, 2010

Reportedly, Camden County inmate hanged herself to death yesterday.

From a heretofore reliable source comes word this afternoon that a female inmate in the Camden County jail "successfully" hanged herself to death yesterday in spite of being on suicide watch.

My source says that the female inmate was arrested just Wednesday on charges of some sort of sexual impropriety with a minor or minors.

Sometime yesterday, she found time that she was unobserved to tear her sheet into strips and hang herself. Apparently, she was dead when she was discovered.


Still think all of my sources are "full of it," jerk?

Interesting new info on the pot house cases - or non-cases.

It turns out that, according to an informant I trust, the person who was writing the checks to pay the rent on Gary Blount's rental property-turned- pot- house allegedly actually resides in the Stan Smith residence on the Satilla River. Gary Blount, the beneficiary of the checks, is, reportedly, this person's accountant yet ostensibly had no idea that was going on.

Stan, I'm told, has another place on the water. He reportedly has a second place in Steinhatchee, Florida which fronts onto the Gulf of Mexico. On that property, Stan allegedly has his own private airstrip which allows for quick flights to and from the Gulf coast (and beyond if need be) out of the St. Marys Airport in his private plane. Steinhatchee is in the "armpit" of Florida, if the panhandle is the "arm." It's not a long flight.

Now, check out the location of the property, relative to the Gulf, on the little map on the left-hand border of this next page. You can come in low over the Gulf, and land on your own strip without flying over any of your nosy neighbors.


You're welcome, chief.

Update: I've checked the undated aerial view of the parcel owned by Mary O. (Mrs. Stan) Smith in Steinhatchee. I see no airstrip nor room for one. However, Steinhatchee does have a dinky airport like ours.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Oh, yeah. City council meeting tonight at 6:00

Ho, hum. Sure to be another installment in Bob Nutter's long-running, extra-legal campaign for city council.


Sunday, October 24, 2010

Sunday Funnies; Volume 138

The Divorced Barbie Doll

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?' The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95'.

The amazed father asks: 'It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?'

The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: 'Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Latest on pot houses.

Here's what I'm hearing now. No, I have no way of confirming this, but it was told to me face-to-face by a real person, known to me, and not some lying Topix vermin like "Bob."

Sometime subsequent to raiding Stan Smith's home on the Satilla, police have now discovered two more pot houses in Brunswick and one in Jacksonville. My source was given to understand that they are all tied to the two operations discovered in St. Marys.

When I asked if his source in law enforcement had said whether or not information found at Smith's residence had led to the discoveries in Brunswick and Jacksonville, he said no and that he had no knowledge that it had.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Sunday Funnies; Volume 137.

Railroad tracks.

The US standard railroad gauge
(distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.
That's an exceedingly odd number.
Why was that gauge used?
Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates designed the US railroads.

Why did the English build them like that?
Because the first rail lines were built
by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.

Why did 'they' use that gauge then?
Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they had used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.

So who built those old rutted roads? Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (including England ) for their legions. Those roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts in the roads?
Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts,
which everyone else had to match
for fear of destroying their wagon wheels.

Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot.

Bureaucracies live forever. So the next time you are handed a specification/procedure/process and wonder 'What horse's ass came up with this?' , you may be exactly right. Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses. (Two horses' asses.)

Now, the twist to the story: When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah

The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.

So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass. And you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important?

Ancient horse's asses control almost everything...

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Setting the record straight.

On October 13, in the GTU, Gordon Jackson, in reporting that the City of St. Marys had eliminated the appeals process for fired employees, noted that Councilwoman Hase had stated in session that Kingsland had no appeals process for fired employees.

Gordon promptly called Kingsland City Manager, Gwen Mungin.

Based upon his interview with Gwenn, he wrote this:

"Hase also said Kingsland does not have an appeals policy. But in a phone interview Tuesday, Kingsland City Manager Gwen Mungin disagreed.

Mungin, who is also Kingsland's appeals officer, said fired employees are allowed to bring documents, witnesses and a lawyer to their hearings."

Now, while what Gordon wrote is the truth, it is far from the whole truth that is germane to the issue at hand.

Here are the FULL facts.

Kingsland employees may appeal any disciplinary action up to and including a suspension without pay.

However, once they are terminated for cause, they do, in fact, have no further avenue of appeal, just as Councilman Hase said.

Suit yourself. Call Gwenn and ask her.

Brinko wins unemployment compensation dispute with city.

After a raid on his office, SMPD says Blount "definitively excluded " as a suspect.

Blount further maintains that Stan Smith is totally innocent as well.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Sunday Funnies; Volume 136

Note: This one comes from Australia.


Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.


Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.


A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything and then leaves.


The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.


An office filled with cubicles.


When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)


An excellent phrase for an overweight person.


A deeply unattractive person..


One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.


The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.


That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (e.g. You've hit 'reply all').


A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.


The contents of a Wonderbra, I.e. Extremely impressive when viewed from the outside but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.


A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: 'Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!'.


The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.


Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.


Tattoo on a female.


A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

New poll.

Scroll to the bottom of the page to see the poll on resuming county special elections.

Federal sentencing guidelines for commercial pot growers.

In United States v. Booker (2005), a Supreme Court decision from January 2005, the court ruled that the federal sentencing guidelines (as outlined above) are advisory and no longer mandatory. However, many federal judges continue to give great deference to the guidelines.

In addition to the sentencing guidelines, there are statutory mandatory minimum sentences, which remain in effect after United States v. Booker and primarily target offenses involving large amounts of marijuana. There is a five-year mandatory minimum for cultivation of 100 plants or possession of 100kgs, and there is a ten-year mandatory minimum for these offenses if the defendant has a prior felony drug conviction. Cultivation or possession of 1000kg or 1000 plants triggers a ten-year mandatory minimum, with a twenty-year mandatory sentence if the defendant has one prior felony drug conviction, and a life sentence with two prior felony drug convictions. To avoid a five-year mandatory minimum, it is advisable to stay well below 100 plants, including any rooted cuttings or clones.

Friday, October 8, 2010

SMPD / GBI raid Stan Smith's 27 acre "farm" on the Satilla.

Of course, they just wanted to go on a nice fall field trip and perhaps pick some pumpkins. I mean, after all, there are no suspects.

In today's edition of the Tribune and Georgian, which broke the story, Chief Hatch had this to say:

While investigators
are moving forward
on the case with a list of
individuals to be questioned,
Hatch said, there are still interviews
to be conducted.

“Not everyone named in
the case has been contacted.

The amount of attention it
has gotten has made it very
difficult to conduct a sound
investigation,” he said.
I, for one, am curious as to how and why that is the case. Perhaps once the coming arrests have been made, the T&G might get the chief to explain that assertion retroactively.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Regular CCBOC meeting, Tuesday,10/5 at 6:00 PM.

Animal contol ordinance work session at 5:30.

Agenda and packet:

Who will the four commissioners anoint to replace Blount on the CCBOC?

If there comes a point in time when Commissioner-elect Blount can no longer legally serve the balance of his term as county commissioner from District 4, does anyone have any idea who the other four might anoint for the position? Has anyone heard any names bandied about? Anyone have any SERIOUS suggestions?

For those who don't know, thanks to a clever and unheralded move by former commissioner Steve Berry, we no longer do special elections at the county level. Ergo, we may soon see two of the five APPOINTED rather than elected. How do you like dem apples?