The hardest part of work,
is to pretend you’re working hard.
You can only stack so many papers,
or shuffle so many business cards.
In one tab you’ll have your email.
And the other you’ll have your shows.
And you can switch between them so quickly
Your boss hardly knows.
Hulu shows the Office,
Youtube has dancing Dogs.
Amazon sells lots of books,
On Ebay you bought some Pogs.
An online game of Scrabble
Makes you think of many words.
But when nature calls you leave,
And beat angry birds.
But once you tire of Facebook,
And you’ve written too many Tweets.
You’ll stroll down to the breakroom,
And help yourself to treats.
And if there is a co worker,
with semi-engaging news
You’ll only stop and gossip,
for at least an hour or two.
Other times you’ll play ping pong,
your favorite company perk.
It’s amazing what you get done.
when you come to work.
By Evan James Griffin
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
SundayFunnies, Volume 185
Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.
-A. Whitney Brown
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
- Stephen Wright
When they asked George Washington for his ID, he just took out a quarter.
- Stephen Wright.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
--Sue Murphy
I don't kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, 'Whoa, I'm way too high!'
-Bruce Baum
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
- Ellen DeGeners.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
- Salvador Dali (1904-1989)
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
- Aldous Huxley (1894-1963)
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
- Walter Bagehot
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
- Yogi Berra
He who sleeps on the floor will not fall off the bed.
- Robert Gronock.
Like math? We could add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide our legs, and multiply!
- Frank
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.
- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest
-A. Whitney Brown
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
- Stephen Wright
When they asked George Washington for his ID, he just took out a quarter.
- Stephen Wright.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
--Sue Murphy
I don't kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, 'Whoa, I'm way too high!'
-Bruce Baum
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
- Ellen DeGeners.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
- Salvador Dali (1904-1989)
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
- Aldous Huxley (1894-1963)
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
- Walter Bagehot
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
- Yogi Berra
He who sleeps on the floor will not fall off the bed.
- Robert Gronock.
Like math? We could add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide our legs, and multiply!
- Frank
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.
- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Cooling it in my garage.
My washer and dryer are out in my garage.
During this recent exceptionally hot spell this Summer, my housekeeper had it pretty rough out there doing my laundry.
The first thing I did was have a 54" ceiling fan installed right above the space in front of the washer and dryer. When blowing down, it simply blew hotter air from near the ceiling down upon her. Reversing the rotation helped a little more but not much.
My next thought was that my north facing, dark colored, aluminum garage door was transferring a lot of heat when it was closed. Of course, it was open when she was here. I Googled "garage door insulation."
It turns out that Owens-Corning makes a garage door insulation kit. You can find them on-line via Home Depot. You will need two kits for a 2 car garage. Cost delivered, about $150.00 for both. Easy to cut and install. However, do not use the crummy peel and stick tape that comes with it to attach insulation retainers to door. I went to our local Lowe's and bought a cheap caulking gun and a tube of Loctite PL Premium Polyurethane Construction Adhesive. Man, they are on there to stay now! One tube is way more than enough. I have about 2/3 of it left.
I checked my garage temperature against the outside, in-the-shade temperature at 3:00 PM for about a week before I ( well, Sarah and I) installed the insulation. Before, it was 5 degrees cooler in the garage with the door shut. Afterwards, it was 10 to 11 degrees cooler. I'm sure it will keep it warmer in the winter as well.
For a total of less than $160.00 and about two hours of work for an able bodied person, I think it was worth it.
Next, I Googled "attic exhaust fans". There are numerous ones to choose from. The one I got has the adjustable thermostat on the unit and sits in your garage attic. There are more expensive models that have a wall mounted thermostat and manual control. Mine was about $400.00 with shipping and another $150.00 for electricians to install and wire. Runs on 110 volts. Manufacturer claims that if you ran it continuously, it would be like leaving a 60 watt bulb on all year.
The unit is mounted in the attic through a hole cut into your garage ceiling. It is covered with a grill that comes with it. Looks good. It also comes with two more grills for you garage door. I cut the oblong holes for the grills into the bottom of the garage door (one on each side) myself with a scroller saw and a good metal cutting blade. Piece of cake. Bolted on wit stove bolts. Painted to match door. Looks good.
The idea is that the relatively cooler air (relative to the air in the attic) drawn from the garage will pressurize the attic and blow the lighter, hotter air out through the ridge vent. Note that with a ridge vent system, if you install a traditional attic vent van through your roof (i.e., the turbine type), all you end up doing is pulling more hot air INTO THE ATTIC.
I've got the thermostat on mine set to the lowest setting, 90degrees. You can set it as high as 140 degrees, but what would be the point? When the air temp in the attic reaches 90 degrees, it stays on and does not turn off (at any start setting) until the air temperature is lowered by at least 20 degrees. I'll have to wait until I get next summer's electric bills to get a feel for how that is working.
Now, tomorrow, I've got a guy coming who will blow insulation in over my garage (none now) and bring it up to R-30 which the rest of the attic is already. Cost for a little over 400 square feet? A measly $200.00!
Had I known that, I would have done it sooner.
I'll let y'all know how that works out.
During this recent exceptionally hot spell this Summer, my housekeeper had it pretty rough out there doing my laundry.
The first thing I did was have a 54" ceiling fan installed right above the space in front of the washer and dryer. When blowing down, it simply blew hotter air from near the ceiling down upon her. Reversing the rotation helped a little more but not much.
My next thought was that my north facing, dark colored, aluminum garage door was transferring a lot of heat when it was closed. Of course, it was open when she was here. I Googled "garage door insulation."
It turns out that Owens-Corning makes a garage door insulation kit. You can find them on-line via Home Depot. You will need two kits for a 2 car garage. Cost delivered, about $150.00 for both. Easy to cut and install. However, do not use the crummy peel and stick tape that comes with it to attach insulation retainers to door. I went to our local Lowe's and bought a cheap caulking gun and a tube of Loctite PL Premium Polyurethane Construction Adhesive. Man, they are on there to stay now! One tube is way more than enough. I have about 2/3 of it left.
I checked my garage temperature against the outside, in-the-shade temperature at 3:00 PM for about a week before I ( well, Sarah and I) installed the insulation. Before, it was 5 degrees cooler in the garage with the door shut. Afterwards, it was 10 to 11 degrees cooler. I'm sure it will keep it warmer in the winter as well.
For a total of less than $160.00 and about two hours of work for an able bodied person, I think it was worth it.
Next, I Googled "attic exhaust fans". There are numerous ones to choose from. The one I got has the adjustable thermostat on the unit and sits in your garage attic. There are more expensive models that have a wall mounted thermostat and manual control. Mine was about $400.00 with shipping and another $150.00 for electricians to install and wire. Runs on 110 volts. Manufacturer claims that if you ran it continuously, it would be like leaving a 60 watt bulb on all year.
The unit is mounted in the attic through a hole cut into your garage ceiling. It is covered with a grill that comes with it. Looks good. It also comes with two more grills for you garage door. I cut the oblong holes for the grills into the bottom of the garage door (one on each side) myself with a scroller saw and a good metal cutting blade. Piece of cake. Bolted on wit stove bolts. Painted to match door. Looks good.
The idea is that the relatively cooler air (relative to the air in the attic) drawn from the garage will pressurize the attic and blow the lighter, hotter air out through the ridge vent. Note that with a ridge vent system, if you install a traditional attic vent van through your roof (i.e., the turbine type), all you end up doing is pulling more hot air INTO THE ATTIC.
I've got the thermostat on mine set to the lowest setting, 90degrees. You can set it as high as 140 degrees, but what would be the point? When the air temp in the attic reaches 90 degrees, it stays on and does not turn off (at any start setting) until the air temperature is lowered by at least 20 degrees. I'll have to wait until I get next summer's electric bills to get a feel for how that is working.
Now, tomorrow, I've got a guy coming who will blow insulation in over my garage (none now) and bring it up to R-30 which the rest of the attic is already. Cost for a little over 400 square feet? A measly $200.00!
Had I known that, I would have done it sooner.
I'll let y'all know how that works out.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Monday, September 5, 2011
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Sunday Funnies, Volume 183
You will love this one, I haven't stop laughing yet.
For those of you who have never traveled to the west, or southwest,
cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings,
in dug-out places in the roads adjacent to highways (sometimes across highways), to prevent cattle from crossing over that area. For some reason the cattle will not step on the "guards," probably because they fear getting their feet caught between the rails.
A few months ago, President Obama received and was reading a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado .. The Colorado ranchers had protested his proposed changes in grazing policies, so he ordered the Secretary of the Interior to fire half of the "cattle" guards immediately!
Before the Secretary of the Interior could respond and presumably try to straighten President Obama out on the matter, Vice-President Joe Biden, intervened with a request that...before any "cattle" guards were fired, they be given six months of retraining.
'Times are hard', said Joe Biden, 'it's only fair to the cattle guards and their families!'
For those of you who have never traveled to the west, or southwest,
cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings,
in dug-out places in the roads adjacent to highways (sometimes across highways), to prevent cattle from crossing over that area. For some reason the cattle will not step on the "guards," probably because they fear getting their feet caught between the rails.
A few months ago, President Obama received and was reading a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado .. The Colorado ranchers had protested his proposed changes in grazing policies, so he ordered the Secretary of the Interior to fire half of the "cattle" guards immediately!
Before the Secretary of the Interior could respond and presumably try to straighten President Obama out on the matter, Vice-President Joe Biden, intervened with a request that...before any "cattle" guards were fired, they be given six months of retraining.
'Times are hard', said Joe Biden, 'it's only fair to the cattle guards and their families!'
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