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Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Sunday Funnies; Volume 169.
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself,
I put him there to dry.
How soon can I go home?'
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself,
I put him there to dry.
How soon can I go home?'
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
Slightly late Sunday Funnies; Volume 168.
ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Never swear. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.
My name is Ron... Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Carol Anne. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Carol Anne to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.
Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her.. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.
I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she does the laundry .
Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay all the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, Boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too.
I know that I probably look like a saint ,in the way I support Carol Anne. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, Guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other..
Signed,
Ron
EDITOR'S NOTE:
Ron died suddenly on JuLY 31 of a perforated rectum.
The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby.
His wife Carol Anne was arrested and charged with murder.
The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Ron, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Never swear. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.
My name is Ron... Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Carol Anne. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Carol Anne to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.
Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her.. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.
I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she does the laundry .
Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay all the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, Boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too.
I know that I probably look like a saint ,in the way I support Carol Anne. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, Guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other..
Signed,
Ron
EDITOR'S NOTE:
Ron died suddenly on JuLY 31 of a perforated rectum.
The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby.
His wife Carol Anne was arrested and charged with murder.
The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Ron, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Bob Nutter runs off council's city manager choice to enhance his own campaign prospects!
Way to go, Bob, oh great, selfless protector of the people's interests!
Last night, while the mayor and council met in one room of the DDA building to hammer out the final details of Mr. Crowell's contract, BobNutter was in the larger room steadily telling the council's choice what all was wrong with St.Marys city government.
When the mayor and council emerged and presented the contract, the prospective city manager, quite to council's surprise, said that he would like to take the proposed contract to dinner with him and his wife to read it and talk it over.
Later in the evening, Mr. Crowell called the mayor and declined the offer.
One of the other candidates, the second choice, was hired away by another city during the process. Now, unless we hire the third choice, the city will have to write off all of the expenses incurred in the search so far and start all over.
Thanks so much, Bob. It's a damned shame you and your Nutty Buddies can't be billed for this along with the money you radical, leftist, eco-loon, pricks forced the city to piss away defending against y'all's scurrilous grand jury campaign gambit.
Voters, come November, please remember what these bastards have done when you go to the polls.
Last night, while the mayor and council met in one room of the DDA building to hammer out the final details of Mr. Crowell's contract, BobNutter was in the larger room steadily telling the council's choice what all was wrong with St.Marys city government.
When the mayor and council emerged and presented the contract, the prospective city manager, quite to council's surprise, said that he would like to take the proposed contract to dinner with him and his wife to read it and talk it over.
Later in the evening, Mr. Crowell called the mayor and declined the offer.
One of the other candidates, the second choice, was hired away by another city during the process. Now, unless we hire the third choice, the city will have to write off all of the expenses incurred in the search so far and start all over.
Thanks so much, Bob. It's a damned shame you and your Nutty Buddies can't be billed for this along with the money you radical, leftist, eco-loon, pricks forced the city to piss away defending against y'all's scurrilous grand jury campaign gambit.
Voters, come November, please remember what these bastards have done when you go to the polls.
Good eats!
I just got back last night from a couple of days in Savannah.
I had two really good dining experiences.
One was at a chain restaurant in Pooler, GA called "Cheddar's." I had never heard of it until I overheard the clerk at my motel telling another guest that there was a Cheddar's nearby. The guest, a guy about 6'5" tall and an estimated 350 lbs., was elated. He said he loved Cheddars. Based upon what seemed a highly qualified endorsers endorsement, I gave it a try. Good move. I wish we would get one here. It would be Camden's best restaurant acquisition yet!
Check 'em out. http://www.cheddars.com/
For an appetizer, I had the spinach dip with tortilla chips and salsa. It was excellent. For an entree, I had the grilled Atlantic salmon with bourbon glaze served on a bed of yellow rice laced with green peas, sweet baby carrots, and cole slaw. All of it was absolutely delicious. Ambiance and service were great. Reasonable prices. Good, strong, tea.
Yesterday, I had lunch at Uncle Bubba's Oyster House. The crab cakes were seasoned and prepared to absolute perfection. The Savannah red rice was as good as it gets. The cole slaw was cut in such a way (see the picture) that it was really crunchy and the dressing was so light that you could savor the raw cabbage flavor, which I really like. They start you off with a basket with about a dozen hot-out-of-the-oven bite sized corn muffins (more like a hybrid between a traditional corn muffin and a cup cake) served with a ramekin of whipped butter with a light touch of honey. Delicious! Ambiance and service were both excellent! Moderately priced for the quality. Naturally, they had real, strong, Southern iced tea.
Check it out. http://www.unclebubbas.com/
I give both my unqualified highest recommendation.
I had two really good dining experiences.
One was at a chain restaurant in Pooler, GA called "Cheddar's." I had never heard of it until I overheard the clerk at my motel telling another guest that there was a Cheddar's nearby. The guest, a guy about 6'5" tall and an estimated 350 lbs., was elated. He said he loved Cheddars. Based upon what seemed a highly qualified endorsers endorsement, I gave it a try. Good move. I wish we would get one here. It would be Camden's best restaurant acquisition yet!
Check 'em out. http://www.cheddars.com/
For an appetizer, I had the spinach dip with tortilla chips and salsa. It was excellent. For an entree, I had the grilled Atlantic salmon with bourbon glaze served on a bed of yellow rice laced with green peas, sweet baby carrots, and cole slaw. All of it was absolutely delicious. Ambiance and service were great. Reasonable prices. Good, strong, tea.
Yesterday, I had lunch at Uncle Bubba's Oyster House. The crab cakes were seasoned and prepared to absolute perfection. The Savannah red rice was as good as it gets. The cole slaw was cut in such a way (see the picture) that it was really crunchy and the dressing was so light that you could savor the raw cabbage flavor, which I really like. They start you off with a basket with about a dozen hot-out-of-the-oven bite sized corn muffins (more like a hybrid between a traditional corn muffin and a cup cake) served with a ramekin of whipped butter with a light touch of honey. Delicious! Ambiance and service were both excellent! Moderately priced for the quality. Naturally, they had real, strong, Southern iced tea.
Check it out. http://www.unclebubbas.com/
I give both my unqualified highest recommendation.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Bayer Crop Science and JDA look for new use for plant.
PRESS RELEASE
May 16, 2011
For Immediate Release
Contact:
Camden County Joint Development Authority
912-729-7201
Bayer and JDA Meet in Camden
to Discuss Future of Woodbine Facility
Camden County, GA - May 16, 2011
Bayer Crop Science LP ("Bayer") executives met recently with representatives of the Camden County Joint Development Authority ("JDA") and the Georgia Department of Economic Development ("State") to discuss future plans for Bayer's Woodbine, Georgia facility; which is scheduled to close this summer. Bayer announced plans last year to phase-out production of the pesticide Temik, which is produced solely at the Woodbine facility.
Temik has protected crops throughout the world for more than 40 years. Disruption of the supply of a key ingredient of Temik recently accelerated the planned phase-out and closure of the Woodbine facility; affecting a local workforce of 84 personnel and an annual payroll of nearly $7.5 Million.
The parties met in the offices of the JDA. Those in attendance from Bayer Crop Science included: Bill Buckner, President and CEO; Diane Pinsker, VP Business Development; Eddie Ingram, State Affairs Manager - Eastern Region; and John Drew, the Woodbine plant manager. Local and state officials at the meeting included David Keating, Executive Director of the Camden County Joint Development Authority and Alyce Thornhill, regional project manager with the Georgia Department of Economic Development.
The discussions were very productive and focused on opportunities for Bayer, the JDA, and State to work together and explore a new future for the closing facility. The Woodbine property is unique and features over 800 upland acres with deep water access to the Atlantic Ocean. The site is a secure facility improved with a variety of buildings and infrastructure, located just seven miles north of the State of Florida with convenient access to Interstate 95. Bayer plans to place the property on the market at some point in the new future.
According to Bill Buckner, President and CEO of Bayer CropScience, "A decision to close a facility is never an easy one because of the people and communities impacted. We've appreciated the local support and were pleased to spend the time with the people from JDA and the state to discuss future possibilities."
According to David Keating, Executive Director of the JDA, "I want to thank Mr. Buckner and the members of his executive team for traveling to Camden County and meeting with us to explore next steps for the Woodbine facility. The affected workers and their families are in our prayers, and one of our highest priorities is to find a replacement industry for this strategic property and replacement jobs for the displaced workers. The personal involvement of Mr. Buckner, President and CEO of Bayer CropScience, demonstrates the highest level of attention and concern to this matter. We appreciate that high level involvement as we work together in the hope of achieving a productive outcome as soon as possible."
About the JDA
The Camden County Joint Development Authority is a multi-jurisdictional economic development agency whose mission is to promote Camden County to business and industry, to expand and diversify the local economy, and stimulate the creation of quality employment opportunities to provide a better quality of life for citizens.
www.ccjda.com
About Bayer CropScience
Bayer is a global enterprise with core competencies in the fields of health care, nutrition and high-tech materials. Bayer CropScience, a subgroup of Bayer AG with annual sales of about EUR 6.830 billion (2010), is one of the world's leading innovative crop science companies in the areas of crop protection, non-agricultural pest control, seeds and traits. The company offers an outstanding range of products and extensive service backup for modern, sustainable agriculture and for non-agricultural applications. Bayer CropScience has a global workforce of 20,700 and is represented in more than 120 countries. This and further news is available at www.press.bayercropscience.com.
May 16, 2011
For Immediate Release
Contact:
Camden County Joint Development Authority
912-729-7201
Bayer and JDA Meet in Camden
to Discuss Future of Woodbine Facility
Camden County, GA - May 16, 2011
Bayer Crop Science LP ("Bayer") executives met recently with representatives of the Camden County Joint Development Authority ("JDA") and the Georgia Department of Economic Development ("State") to discuss future plans for Bayer's Woodbine, Georgia facility; which is scheduled to close this summer. Bayer announced plans last year to phase-out production of the pesticide Temik, which is produced solely at the Woodbine facility.
Temik has protected crops throughout the world for more than 40 years. Disruption of the supply of a key ingredient of Temik recently accelerated the planned phase-out and closure of the Woodbine facility; affecting a local workforce of 84 personnel and an annual payroll of nearly $7.5 Million.
The parties met in the offices of the JDA. Those in attendance from Bayer Crop Science included: Bill Buckner, President and CEO; Diane Pinsker, VP Business Development; Eddie Ingram, State Affairs Manager - Eastern Region; and John Drew, the Woodbine plant manager. Local and state officials at the meeting included David Keating, Executive Director of the Camden County Joint Development Authority and Alyce Thornhill, regional project manager with the Georgia Department of Economic Development.
The discussions were very productive and focused on opportunities for Bayer, the JDA, and State to work together and explore a new future for the closing facility. The Woodbine property is unique and features over 800 upland acres with deep water access to the Atlantic Ocean. The site is a secure facility improved with a variety of buildings and infrastructure, located just seven miles north of the State of Florida with convenient access to Interstate 95. Bayer plans to place the property on the market at some point in the new future.
According to Bill Buckner, President and CEO of Bayer CropScience, "A decision to close a facility is never an easy one because of the people and communities impacted. We've appreciated the local support and were pleased to spend the time with the people from JDA and the state to discuss future possibilities."
According to David Keating, Executive Director of the JDA, "I want to thank Mr. Buckner and the members of his executive team for traveling to Camden County and meeting with us to explore next steps for the Woodbine facility. The affected workers and their families are in our prayers, and one of our highest priorities is to find a replacement industry for this strategic property and replacement jobs for the displaced workers. The personal involvement of Mr. Buckner, President and CEO of Bayer CropScience, demonstrates the highest level of attention and concern to this matter. We appreciate that high level involvement as we work together in the hope of achieving a productive outcome as soon as possible."
About the JDA
The Camden County Joint Development Authority is a multi-jurisdictional economic development agency whose mission is to promote Camden County to business and industry, to expand and diversify the local economy, and stimulate the creation of quality employment opportunities to provide a better quality of life for citizens.
www.ccjda.com
About Bayer CropScience
Bayer is a global enterprise with core competencies in the fields of health care, nutrition and high-tech materials. Bayer CropScience, a subgroup of Bayer AG with annual sales of about EUR 6.830 billion (2010), is one of the world's leading innovative crop science companies in the areas of crop protection, non-agricultural pest control, seeds and traits. The company offers an outstanding range of products and extensive service backup for modern, sustainable agriculture and for non-agricultural applications. Bayer CropScience has a global workforce of 20,700 and is represented in more than 120 countries. This and further news is available at www.press.bayercropscience.com.
Meet 'n' Greet for new St. Marys DDA director.
ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT DIRECTOR
MEET AND GREET
Time: 4:00 - 6:00 PM Date: 5/27/2011
Location: Ward L. Hernandez Bldg. (400 Osborne Street)
Join the St. Marys Downtown Development Authority as they introduce Artie Jones, III as the new Economic Development Director for the City of St. Marys.
Light refreshments will be served.
For more info:
Contact:
Renée at 912-882-8111
Email: renee@stmarysdda.com
MEET AND GREET
Time: 4:00 - 6:00 PM Date: 5/27/2011
Location: Ward L. Hernandez Bldg. (400 Osborne Street)
Join the St. Marys Downtown Development Authority as they introduce Artie Jones, III as the new Economic Development Director for the City of St. Marys.
Light refreshments will be served.
For more info:
Contact:
Renée at 912-882-8111
Email: renee@stmarysdda.com
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Sunday Funnies; Volume 167
My wife and I went to the Great Yarmouth agricultural show and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,
' THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR '
My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ......Smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year, that's almost once a week.'
We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,
''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice! a week ! ...........You could learn a lot from him.'
We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said,
in capital letters,
'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said,
'That's once a day ..You could REALLY learn something from this one.'
I looked at her and said,
'Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow.'
My condition has been upgraded from critical
to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery.
' THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR '
My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ......Smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year, that's almost once a week.'
We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,
''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice! a week ! ...........You could learn a lot from him.'
We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said,
in capital letters,
'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said,
'That's once a day ..You could REALLY learn something from this one.'
I looked at her and said,
'Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow.'
My condition has been upgraded from critical
to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Sunday Funnies; Volume 166.
WOMEN WHO KNOW THEIR PLACE
Barbara Walters, of 20/20, did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict.
She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.
She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem happy to maintain the old custom.
Ms Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, 'Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?'
The woman looked Ms Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, “Land mines.”
Barbara Walters, of 20/20, did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict.
She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.
She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem happy to maintain the old custom.
Ms Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, 'Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?'
The woman looked Ms Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, “Land mines.”
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