Sunday Funnies; Volume 22

NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN DAMNITOL: Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.. EMPTYNESTROGEN: Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out! ST. MOMMA'S WORT: Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days. PEPTOBIMBO: Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception. DUMBEROL: When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks. FLIPITOR: Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. MENICILLIN: Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, 'You make me want to be a better person. ' BUYAGRA: Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree. JACKASSPIRIN: Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat. ANTI-TALKSIDENT: A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators. NAGAMENT: When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him, without opening your mouth.