Sunday Funnies; Volume 74

Note: This one is not "dedicated" to anyone in particular. Why's of Men 1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX (because they are plugged into a genius) ----------------------------------------------2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX? (they don't have enough time) ----------------------------------------------- 3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? (they don't stop to ask directions) -----------------------------------------------4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? (censored)----------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------- 5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS? (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties) ---------------------------------------------- 6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy) ----------------------------------------------- 7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN? (don't know.....it never happened) ----------------------------------------------- ( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!) ----------------------------------------------- And the personal favorite: 8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH? (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn) ----------------------------------------------- Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart! ----------------------------------------------- One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?' 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?' He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma .' And they say blondes are dumb... --------------------------------------------- A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'----------------------------------------------- 'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?' 'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.----------------------------------------------- Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor------- --------------------------------------- Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN---------------------------------------------- Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practicing to be men----------------------------------------------Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.---------------------------------------------- Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'